When you get homesick, you really get homesick. You literally can’t do anything but wait until it passes… and sometimes calling home just makes it worse.
I must admit, I call home less often to avoid that inevitable feeling of sadness I experience afterwards. I love my parents so much, but now in addition to the guilt I feel for leaving them, there is guilt for not calling more frequently. I call on average about once a month. I know its not often enough. The honest truth is, speaking to them is always bitter-sweet. I enjoy every moment of it, but at the same time, it reminds me just how much I miss them.
Consequently, rather than call more often as I should, I end up calling less frequently to avoid the overwhelming sadness that follows the moment the conversation ends. This sadness no doubt stems from the disconnection and loss I feel due to the fact that my entire family are on the other side of the world. Over the past five years, I have only been able to get back home once and I guess that is taking it’s toll. I miss them all so much it hurts. But it was my choice to leave and I need to find a way to deal with these feelings.
So in order to feel less disconnected, maybe I should bite the bullet and call home more often. Will this be the solution to easing the twelve hours of depression that always follows a phone call back home? How often do you call home? Do you feel better or worse afterwards?